使您举止得体的肢体语言

肢体语言
1. Don’t cross your arms or legs
不要交叉手臂或腿
You have probably already heard you shouldn’t cross your arms as it might make you seem defensive or guarded. This goes for your legs too. Keep your arms and legs open.
你应该听说过不要交叉手臂，这样会让你看起来存有戒心或有保留的。腿最好也不要交叉起来，让你的手臂和腿自然放松。
2.Have eye contact, but don’t stare
眼神要交流，但别盯着别人看
If there are several people you are talking to, give them all some eye contact to create a better connection and see if they are listening. Keeping too much eye-contact might creep people out. Giving no eye-contact might make you seem insecure. If you are not used to keeping eye-contact it might feel a little hard or scary in the beginning but keep working on it and you’ll get used to it.
如果你同时和好几个人说话，不时地给他们一些眼神交流有助于交流，也能知晓他们是否在倾听。然而过多的眼神交流也许会把人吓跑。完全不给眼神交流会让别人觉得你这个人有点躲闪不可信。如果一开始你不习惯眼神交流，觉得有点儿难或害怕，也要克服一下，不久你就会习惯啦。
3. Don’t be afraid to take up some space
不要害怕多给自己一点空间
Taking up space by for example sitting or standing with your legs apart a bit signals self-confidence and that you are comfortable in your own skin.
比如两腿稍微分开的坐着或站着，能透露出你的自信和你对自己的状态感到舒服的信号。
4. Relax your shoulders
放松肩膀
When you feel tense it’s easily winds up as tension in your shoulders. They might move up and forward a bit. Try to relax. Try to loosen up by shaking the shoulders a bit and move them back slightly.
当你感到紧张的时候容易使你的肩膀紧绷，肩膀可能就会有点向上和向前移。试着抖一下肩膀，和把肩膀稍微后倾些来放松自己。
5. Nod when they are talking
当别人在谈话时要注意点头
Nod once in a while to signal that you are listening. But don’t overdo it and peck like Woody Woodpecker.
时不时点头是你在倾听的信号。但千万别过头了，啄得像啄木鸟伍迪。
6. Don’t slouch, sit up straight
坐的时候不要无精打采的，背要坐直
But in a relaxed way, not in a too tense manner.
但举止要放松，不要太紧张
7. Lean, but not to much
斜靠着，但是不要靠的太多
If you want to show that you are interested in what someone is saying, lean toward the person talking. If you want to show that you’re confident in yourself and relaxed lean back a bit. But don’t lean in too much or you might seem needy and desperate for some approval. Or lean back too much or you might seem arrogant and distant.
如果你想表现对别人说的话感兴趣，就稍微向说话的那个人倾斜一点。如果你想表现的是自信，那就稍微往后仰一点。但也别太过，太靠近会让你看起来急于得到别人的认可，往后倾的太过会让你显得傲慢和疏远。
8. Smile and laugh
微笑和大笑
Lighten up, don’t take yourself too seriously. Relax a bit, smile and laugh when someone says something funny. People will be a lot more inclined to listen to you if you seem to be a positive person. But don’t be the first to laugh at your own jokes, it makes you seem nervous and needy. Smile when you are introduced to someone but don’t keep a smile plastered on your face, you’ll seem insincere.
不要太严肃，要笑起来。放松些，别人说好玩的事情的时候不妨微笑或大笑。如果你是个正能量的人，人们会更乐意与你交流。但别第一个笑你自己的笑话，这样会让你看起来又紧张又缺乏自信。当你被介绍给某人认识时，要微笑，但不要一直挂着微笑，这会看起来不真诚。
9. Don’t touch your face
别摸脸
it might make you seem nervous and can be distracting for the listeners or the people in the conversation.
这会让你看起来更紧张，还会分散交谈中听者的注意力。
10. Keep your head up
抬起你的头
Don’t keep your eyes on the ground, it might make you seem insecure and a bit lost. Keep your head up straight and your eyes towards the horizon.
别一直看地上，会让你看起来缺乏信心和有点迷茫。把头抬起来并且让你的眼睛向着地平线。
11. Slow down a bit
慢一点
This goes for many things. Walking slower not only makes you seem more calm and confident, it will also make you feel less stressed. If someone addresses you, don’t snap your neck in their direction, turn it a bit more slowly instead.
很多事都需要慢一点。走慢点，会使你看起来更镇定和自信，还能让自己感觉压力减少。如果有人喊你，别猛的一下转脖子朝向他们，而要转慢一些。
12. Don’t fidget and try to avoid, phase out or transform fidgety movement and nervous ticks such as shaking your leg or tapping your fingers against the table rapidly.
不要动来动去，要试着避免及逐步停止或改变坐立不安的的动作和紧张的小动作引起的滴答声，如抖腿或用手指快速敲击桌子。
You’ll seem nervous and fidgeting can be a distracting when you try to get something across. Declutter your movements if you are all over the place. Try to relax, slow down and focus your movements.
你会显得紧张，并且当你试图让别人理解某事时，坐立不安会使你分心。如果你感到很困惑，规整你的举动。试着放松，慢下来，专注自己的举动。
13. Use your hands more confidently instead of fidgeting with your hands and scratching your face use them to communicate what you are trying to say.
在表达你想说的话时，要自信地使用你的手，而不是坐立不安，手无处安放，挠脸。
Use your hands to describe something or to add weight to a point you are trying to make. But don’t use them to much or it might become distracting. And don’t let your hands flail around.
不妨用手比划比划来加深你的观点表达。但也别太过了，否则会分散别人的注意力。也别把手一直垂在那边。
14. Lower your drink.
水杯放低点
Don’t hold your drink in front of your chest. In fact, don’t hold anything in front of your heart as it will make you seem guarded and distant. Lower it and hold it beside your leg instead.
别总把水杯放在胸前。事实上，别把任何东西放在心口处，这只会让你看起来十分防范还有距离感。放低点，不如放在腿边吧。
15. Realise where you spine ends
明白你的脊椎末端在哪里
Many people (including me until recently) might sit or stand with a straight back in a good posture. However, they might think that the spine ends where the neck begins and therefore crane the neck forward in a Montgomery Burns-pose. Your spine ends in the back of your head. Keep you whole spine straight and aligned for better posture.
许多人（包括最近的我）可能会坐着或站着，背部挺直，姿势良好。然而，他们可能认为脊椎在颈部开始的地方结束，因此以蒙哥马利·伯恩斯姿势将颈部向前抬起。你的脊椎末端在你的后脑勺。保持整个脊柱笔直并对齐，以获得更好的姿势。
16. Don’t stand too close
别站的太近
One of the things we learned from Seinfeld is that everybody gets weirded out by a close-talker. Let people have their personal space, don’t invade it.
我们从塞恩菲尔德那里学到的一件事是：谈话者之间如果靠的太近是非常尴尬的。让别人拥有自己的空间，别侵犯它。
17. Mirror
模仿
Often when you get along with a person, when the two of you get a good connection, you will start to mirror each other unconsciously. That means that you mirror the other person’s body language a bit. To make the connection better you can try a bit of proactive mirroring. If he leans forward, you might lean forward. If she holds her hands on her thighs, you might do the same. But don’t react instantly and don’t mirror every change in body language. Then weirdness will ensue.
往往你和别人开始接触，如果关系不错，你就会不自觉地开始模仿别人，这就意味着你会或多或少模仿别人的肢体语言。如果想要关系更亲密点，你可以更主动点模仿，人家向前倾，你也可以向前倾。如果她把手放在大腿上，那你也这样好了。但不要立即做出反应，也不要模仿身体语言的每一个变化。会产生尴尬。
18. Keep a good attitude
保持好的态度
Last but not least, keep a positive, open and relaxed attitude. How you feel will come through in your body language and can make a major difference.
最后但很重要的一点是，保持积极、开放和放松的态度。你的感受将通过你的肢体语言体现出来，并会产生重大影响。
You can change your body language but as all new habits it takes a while. Especially things like keeping you head up might take time to correct if you have spent thousands of days looking at your feet.
你可以改变自己的肢体语言，但所有的新习惯都需要一段时间来适应。比如如果你一直都低着头走路，练习抬起头也许要一段时间的。